Keepin' It Real

Tomorrow I'm 19 weeks pregnant. 19 weeks! How is that even possible? I feel like I still have a ways to go, but I am shocked at how fast HALF of this entire pregnancy has gone by. I fear that everything this time around is going to feel like it's moving at mach speed. Since we know (at least in OUR plan) this will be the last bambino for us, it's like I want to hold on to every single moment. And I realize that is going to make everything seem like it's zooming by once the baby is here and having his/her first milestones. So I will try my best to cherish it all, even the sleep-deprived nights and the frustrating "baby won't stop crying and I can't figure out what's wrong" moments. Next week is our "big" 20 week ultrasound. Marty & I had considered, from the beginning of this pregnancy, not finding out the gender. It was a really fun thought....for about 4 months. Now that the time has come and we know that next week we could find out if we're having another son or another daughter, we're pretty much crumbling. Honestly just the thought of having to get out our baby clothes from the attic, washing them, putting them away, setting up a nursery, etc. all AFTER the baby is here and WHILE also taking care of 3 other little ones is enough to put me over the edge with stress. So I think we're going to take a peek and find out what's going on in there so we can plan and I can feel more relaxed about bringing a FOURTH child into our already hectic house. I know all you "Gender Waiters" are going to be disappointed in me. What can I say? I just don't have it in me. Plus I have this irrational fear that I feel so strongly this baby is a girl and if, at the time of delivery, a boy was born I would not know how to handle that. So there you have it. Love it or hate it. We're just "Gender Finder Outers." Let's see...names. We have growing lists of names for both genders, but if you know us and our history, you can bank on the fact that we will name this baby something that is not on "the list." And we definitely won't name the baby until after he/she (totally a she, by the way) is here. What else? Umm, the nausea I had for weeks is now pretty much gone. It rears its ugly head every once in a while, but for the most part it stays away. It's getting harder to pick up Ty and put him in his bed or car seat. The kid weighs over 32 pounds. Pretty soon, he's going to have to start climbing into those things on his own. Luckily he got an early start on practicing his climbing skills, since he has climbed on everything since he could move, so he should be good to go. I've got some really horrible veins on the back of one of my legs and if I'm on my feet a lot they flare up, get really red & start throbbing & burning. Super fun. So babe, if you're reading this and you come home to a not so clean house, dinner's not ready, laundry's not done, your son is running around with poop in his diaper, and I'm lying on the couch with my feet up, it's not in the name of bon-bon eating mmmk?? Here I am at 19 weeks (well technically 1 day shy of, but same thing). I feel like you can already see a difference from the picture of me at 16 weeks. Scary. And since we're "keepin' it real" you like my chaos of a bedroom? Thought you might.