Tuesday, February 10, 2009

No Ma'am M.I.A.

I am implementing a new series of posts. They will be called "No. Ma'am." You see, it is a favorite phrase of mine when I see or hear something that I think is a little off or it could just be straight-up crazy. And you have to imagine me saying the phrase with a distinct Southern drawl. For instance, I had this statement in this post:

So to all those Moms out there that think it's ok to bring their kids to Starbucks, give them a Horizon Chocolate Milk & a train from home, and let them run amok, driving everyone in the place completely crazy, while you chat with your friends, I say to you in my best Southern accent, "No Ma'am. No. Ma'am. 
Well I had another "No Ma'am" moment while watching the Grammy's the other night. Some of you may have seen this. For those of you who did not, well let's just say you missed a whole lot. A whole lot of M.I.A. She is a singer who collaborates with a lot of rappers and has a hit song on the soundtrack of the movie Slumdog Millionaire. Miss M.I.A. is 9 months preggers. Nine. Months. And she decided, or someone told her, not sure which, it would be a good idea to perform on the Grammy's with a group of rappers wearing a sheer leotard thingy with polka dots to cover her unmentionables, all while 9 months pregnant. Did I mention she's 9 months pregnant?! Oh my goodness. Girlfriend, I'm so sorry to break it to you, but pelvic thrusts and booty shaking in a sheer, polka dot leotard with a big ole belly is not attractive. It's not cool. It's not hip. It certainly does not belong on the stage of the Grammy's with a group of rappers who actually are cool. It would be an entirely different thing if she were standing behind a microphone, singing. But running up and down the stage, gyrating all over and waving her arms back and forth was way off. Honey, those moves are made for cool, hip rappers and Fergie with her rock hard abs, not Humpty Dumpty. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not criticizing the way she looks. She actually looks amazing. Unlike me who gains weight in my earlobes and everywhere else when pregnant, she was all belly and a great looking pregnant girl. I'm just saying humping the air with that belly is so not cool. Not even close. I am going to just give her the benefit of the doubt and think that someone else told her this would be a good idea and in a pregnancy-hormone-induced moment of stupidity, she agreed. However, it's not going to keep me from giving her a big, "No Ma'am. No Ma'am."

Oh and make sure you watch it until it goes to color. That's when she really gets going.


Lacey said...

Oh man...I missed it but saw her picture on the msn front page...I was wondering what the heck that outfit was for. And now it won't play..it says the grammys took it off for copyright laws. Darn it!! But I agree... No Ma'am is definitely deserved!

Lindsay said...

Aww man! I'm so bummed. I saw that some of the videos of the performance on youtube were being taken down. I just figured it would take a while for them all to be taken off and maybe some of you could see the video before it was removed. But it looks like they are pretty quick!

Rebecca Goodwin said...

I can so hear you saying "No Ma'am" in much the same way I do.
You and I share an impatience the general... incorrectness... in which other people shamelessly indulge. I don't know if that's a real word but it works here.

Perhaps that poor girl was trying to bring on labor. Some girls eat spicy food, some walk for miles, some let their husbands near their lady business for the first time in six months... and she bumps and grinds surrounded by rappers while wearing a Crate and Barrel tablecloth on her backside.

Bring on more "No Ma'am". I'll post some from this side of Houston, the city in which rain makes people forget how to drive.